Sway of Influence

Why do I bend and sway when

Inconvenient desires conflict with others

Exhausting attempts made at consensus make the give-in seem more acceptable than conflict

Desires are just wants after all

and even needs can be delayed, fulfilled another time

But how many were buried with anger in confounding niceties and strangled words

No. Not anger

Aggravation over missed cues

Not a mind reader! How could I know

Except…I do know what I feel

and I’m mad at myself for twisting around

 

Who made me┬álike this – so willing to blame myself

Is it me making myself be too reliable, predictable, sensible

What about being real, intuitive, creative, sensual

 

Who knocked down my will: brutalized, belittled, bruised me

Who made me afraid

Was it you

 

Damn you, Fear

I’m more than you can hold

I refuse to comply with your demands and heavy handed intrusions

I refuse to hear your requirements of me while ignoring my own

I claim sovereignty, hegemony, sway

 

Watch what I do without you

sway of influence

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